we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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