My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
