They should really pass out barf bags in church
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
