she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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