My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
