Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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