yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
