Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
