I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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