And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
