i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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