I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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