she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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