dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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