1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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