Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
