She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize