if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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