Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
