R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i barfeds in our rink
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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