There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
