A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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