You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
