I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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