your parents love me but you hate me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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