never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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