Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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