is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
