where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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