k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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