Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
