There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
