I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
