you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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