i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
