god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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