You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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