And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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