Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
soo... how was my night?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
