I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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