Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
