I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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