put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
