My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
