know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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