youre lurking in front of me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
