We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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