i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
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Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
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Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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