What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
