Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
