The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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