Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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