went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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