I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
