Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
