why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
