i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
