theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
