I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
