I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
