is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
