um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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