this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
