forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
