You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
