the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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